AARGH!

hari ini memang BENAR-BENAR panas!
panas = hot.
i dont like hot thing like this. even the weather, the other people makes me 'hot' too. maksudnya mereka membuat emosi gue berapi-api. alias MEREKA NYEBELIN.

first people. duh i dont know ya, he has problemS to me. okay, our friendship is not going well, but firstly i trust that everything will going alright. i played something with my friends. dan sebuah tinta spidol itu entah kenapa MUNCRAT ke mata gue.okaay, itu masih bisa diterima. itu lucu. gue ke kamar mandi dong ya. ternyata orang itu, bilang ke temen2 gue 'alhamdulillah. kenapa ga sekalian mulutnya aja yg kena? biar mulutnya ga berbisa?'

HELL- O?

FCUK!

gue ga ngerti. apa yg pernah gue lakukan sih sama dia? sampe segitunya? gw ga pernah doain dia yg buruk2 ih ngomongin dia yg jelek aja ga! karena gue jg tau ga ada gunanya ngomongin dia. waktu dia sakit, gue ga ngomong apa2. kesian lah yang jelas, GA BERSYUKUR ya dia sakit. i shown my respect. kesel tau ga! gilaaa ngomong apa gue tentang lo sih? GUE GA PERNAH YA NGOMONGIN LO, jadi ga usah deh ngomong2 kayak gt ga guna tau ga. gw tau mungkin dulu gue jahat ya sama dia. tp katanya dia maafin gue? we will still friend? SAMPAH.
mana kata-kata lo itu dulu ? MANA? itu yg namanya temen? KENAPA GA SEKALIAN AJA LO NGOMONG DEPAN GUE?
gue uda tau kok lo ngomongin gue sama temen-temen gue. belom puas? BILANG GUE TUKANG GOSIP? kalo iya kenapa emang? tp selama gue ngomongin orang pun, GA PERNAH SEKALI PUN gue gosipin lo. jadi daripada lo blg gue kayak gt, lo blg deh lo mau gue gosipin apa BIAR PUAS sekalian.

ih dosa, dosa.
tapi kesel lah! ga ada gunanya ngomongin orang ini, mulutnya sampah!

there are second person, tp ga bisa diceritakan.
pokoknya hari ini lg nyebelin. semuanya nyebelin

my subconscious mind

Lagi-lagi dan lagi-lagi.

hujan turun hari ini di sekolah. untuk pertama kalinya gw melihat sekeliling kelas.ada yg sibuk mengobrol dengan teman sebelahnya. sepertinya sedang bergosip. ada yg duduk sendiri dan tekun mengerjakan tugas. ada yang sedang marah-marah karena temannnya tidak mengerti ketika sedang diajari.

rain is time to entering my subconscius mind.

him.

yaya lagi-lagi.

bukan perkara mudah melupakan seseorang. sudah pernah kok mencoba, tp apa daya?sulit.

but this isn’t the end of the world. but this is the end of my love to him.
why?
my hole-exactly my holes. were already aching. it's really hurt. when i didnt with somebody, the holes pulsed really fast. like someone hit my heart really hard. nobody knows how miserable i am. every word that spoken from you, make more holes. every attention that you given to me, uhh it make more holes.

you played it over and over.

can i handle it? of course no.

until I fell asleep with the tears still streaming calmly down my empty face. yes, my empty face. there is my empty face since you broke me.

what do you want now? my sadness? my broke's heart?

i'm breaking into pieces. please stop it. i can't feel anymore except that holes.

but you are so different, i can't say anything. i am miserable

Boys Ruin Our Live!

bermula dari segala sesuatu tentang cinta. uhh love is tottaly shit. but we can't handle it, right? everbody needs love, yayya FUCK MONKEY LOVE. gara-gara chatting sama si cece gue jd berfikir sepertinya kok lelaki itu semuanya sama saja ya ? (okay, not at all but some boy) mereka suka mempermainkan perasaan perempuan.

oke, apa lg yang sekarang gue rasain, it's weird. gue suka sama seseorang (oh yeah now i already can say it because i feel jealous) he is a good person, uhm no, very good person, warm guy haha. begitu lah banyak rumor-rumor yg beredar tp tidak ada yang benar, banyak kata-kata yang keluar but nothing happened. and now, we start again. it gives me hope again. tp ternyata dia belum banyak berubah. he broke me again. he give me attention. a lot of attention. and i really like it, it feel like he likes me. like. and i know it today,i am nothing!. tapi melihat semua kekacauan dan kelakuan dia yg kayak gini gue mau blg apa? there are something that i cant tell you but i dont know what i am expect after this shit.
mungkin buat yg lain ini sesuatu yg biasa aja, but it makes me think, that i really really his uhh i dont know. does he want me to feel happy? but see what he did to me.
hey i am girl! i like you, and i know you know it and this is your response to me?
okay, now i know what kind of guy you are. and for unfathomable reason i still like you, and with big heart, i still want to be your trashbag. FUCK MONKEY LOVE!